Month: March 2016

A short fable about a pebble 

once upon a time there was a flat little pebble sitting by the seashore, all by himself. He was very envious of the seashells that got picked up by the beach goers. They oohed and ahhed over how pretty the seashells were and the people took them home. Their happiness over the shells’ beauty made him envious and sad, for he was but a flat rock.

One day, a bunch of people started picking up all the flat pebbles. The pebble was very happy because finally he made someone happy. Finally, someone wanted him. The people began throwing the flat pebbles into the sea, skipping them along the water and they all sank to the bottom of the sea.

The pebble then spent ten thousand years waiting for the tide to push him back onto the beach.

Moral of the story: shut up and enjoy the view.
(Hubby told me to tell him a bedtime story. This is what I came up with)

Edit – Thanks to Chris Lindsay for the suggestion on changing “jealousy” to “envious”. Check out his blog for a collection of beautiful essays and short stories.

https://christopherjohnlindsay.wordpress.com/

Stop Sharing Those Autism Updates/Memes

World autism day is in two weeks. It may or may not make it onto a meme, and you’ll be asked to share for at least one hour, and I’ll know who my true friends are by those who also post this update for an hour. 
STOP!!! Good god, could you get any more passive aggressive?! Great way to guilt someone into posting a stupid meme or update that no one, other than those who share to ease their own guilt or because they have really huge hearts, reads or cares about.
Look. Leaving a status update up for an hour, supporting the understanding and compassion about what life is like with autism is all fine and dandy, but it changes nothing about the mindset of the ignorant. In fact, they’re not even reading those memes or updates. Neither am I and my kid has autism and my friends kids have autism. I hate those updates and I loathe those memes. They’re a waste of my time and yours. No one is reading them and those who post them are doing so with good intentions but it’s not necessary. 
Autism is great, crappy, horrible, awkward, uncomfortable, joyous, shitty, depressing, soul sucking, awe inspiring, amazing to live with. But a status update won’t change the minds of people who are shitty and without compassion (the people who would still, in this day, call my kid a retard). And it also doesn’t show how compassionate, supportive, and understanding you actually are. All those updates are? A means to make you feel shitty. If you don’t share it then you obviously are horrible. 

You’re not horrible. You don’t need to share. No one is even reading it. 

If you want to change their minds, or if you want to be supportive, then share interesting videos about what life is like with autism. Share stories about the amazing things people with autism do. Share the horror stories that people with autism live with. Donate money to a local autism support centre or school and tell people about the great things that charity is doing (heck – tell people about that great charity without donating). Tell your friend who has a loved one with autism or has autism themselves that if there’s anything they ever need that you’d love to help if you can. Tell them honestly, too, that you don’t understand their struggles, if they have any, but you’d love to help and you’d love to get to know them better. 
Sharing a status update, which probably isn’t even during autism awareness day or month (which isn’t as often as those memes and updates would have you believe) gets lost in the fold of everyone’s pictures, updates, memes, and videos. No one is paying attention and once they figure out what it is you’re saying, they’ll move on. 

If you want to share those updates and memes, go right ahead. But if you don’t see others, including autism parents, sharing it, know it’s not because we don’t care, it’s because we know they fall on deaf ears and eyes, including our own, and that that’s not the way to get a message across. Life isn’t a chain letter. Jesus won’t save a kid because the picture got so many likes and shares. Sorry. Pray and offer your services instead. It’ll be much more appreciated. 

legacies

The idea that after all our long life lived, all that we’ve seen and done, felt and heard, the relationships we have formed, broken, and people we’ve loved, it all means nothing in the end. 
The truth is, unless you bring something to the table, something that will earn you notoriety, in two generations, if that, you will be forgotten. Your children and their children will remember you. After that, there’s nothing. No one will remember the food you made, the jokes you told, the way your eyes lit up when you smiled. No one will remember how you smelled, no one will remember the sound of your laughter. No one past your grandchildren will remember your hugs. 

The adventures you’ve experienced, the stories you lived, the things you created, the dreams you followed, it all means nothing in the end. No one will remember your memories for you. No one will retell them and keep you alive. For that is how we live on. Our legacies are our stories. They live on in our friends and family. When they’re no longer told, we’re no longer alive. 
You will eventually be insignificant so you must make your now amazing. 
In the telling of their stories, we do so with love, humour, honour. When they pass and we lose them, we stop telling their stories so that we can keep those memories close to our hearts. Like little gifts. We think that if we keep them inside that they’ll be more precious and special. That they will be more meaningful to us. It’s not true, though. They will only fade that way. They will fade with us, along with our memories and stories that other people tell. 

Your people, your ancestors, your history. It matters where you come from. WHO you’ve come from. By saying it doesn’t matter you’re saying that someone’s life was insignificant. No one’s life is insignificant. They, and their legacies, are just far away from you.