Tonight I was outside with the cleaner while he was having a smoke. We’re talking about going back to the gym and working out when suddenly this blue sticky note falls from the sky. The two of us watch it fall, slowly like a leaf, and land a few feet from us. It looked like confetti from a celebratory parade. I pick it up and the cleaner steps out to look at the sky, towards the top of our building. Needless to say I darted inside and as I was doing so he asked if they had locked the access windows.
To say that I am still affected is an understatement and unnecessary. The cleaner asked if I was alright so clearly I was visibly shaken.
It has been a while since I’ve been afraid at work. And I learned tonight that it doesn’t take much to dredge up those fears. A little paper falling from the netherworld, floating effortlessly down, filling my head with visions.
How easily we fall prey to old fears. Immediately I expected someone to come falling after that paper and I was again panicking at the idea of bodies falling from the sky. Childish thoughts. In hindsight I realize that these fears are due to most recent events and that they have touched upon my subconscious. Evil fingers touching my soul, filling it with fear and anxiety. I must work once again to unclench that hand and pry my soul free.