Month: October 2011

isn’t that heartwarming?

After I hit publish on one of my posts, a page came up that said:

“This is your 4th post. Marvelous! This post has 186 words.”

I love a site that encourages you by telling you it’s marvelous what you’ve just done and then counts all the words in your oh-so-cool blog, when really it’s reminding you that you still haven’t published your book.

Fuck off, wordpress. I KNOW I haven’t finished my book. Thank you.


Enter title here…unless you can’t come up with one…

I used to have two previous wordpress blogs. I deleted them both and decided to start fresh, much like a new scribbler and pencil for school. There’s nothing better than sharpening a new pencil and writing on the first page of a scribbler. (that’s PEI speak, by the way. A scribbler is a notebook or a Hilroy)

Rather than just delete the posts in both wordpress blogs, I decided to just wholly delete them. However, coming up with a title that hasn’t been used before? It’s frickin difficult!!

I came up with Hidden Valleys after about 20 minutes of thinking, typing, deleting and thinking some more of names that I could use. I really thought I was going insane. I began typing in the silliest titles I could think of. Nope, they’re all taken.

Finally, after swearing that my sanity was on the verge of running away, I decided I needed something serene. Calm. Zen. Peaceful.

Hidden Valleys-
finding my sanity in an insane world

Because let’s face it. This world is definitely insane.

Hmm….I pressed publish but it didn’t go through…well, better late than never.

A new lesson

I learned a new lesson at work today.

I guess we haven’t touched on my employment yet. I am, are you ready for it? I am a security guard. I am NOT a rent a cop. What’s the difference? A rent a cop wholeheartedly believes he/she has every right to harass you and be a beligerent prick whereas a security guard just goes to work, does his/her job and goes home. A rent a cop has wet dreams about arresting people. I have dreams about my family and vacations.

In my line of business I have interacted with psychos, vagrants, drunks and morons. And those are just my coworkers! My line of work is really not all that glorious. The funniest stories I could possibly tell are about my fellow coworkers. Like the guy who was so plastered at work (yep, drunk on the job), he leaned back in an office chair and went a little too far. BAM! backwards he goes and lands on the floor.
We still laugh over that one.
I have had no scary moments. The closest moment I had that could possibly be deemed slightly scary was I was at a building at 2 in the morning on a Friday. Across the street is construction. My building is the only one on the block. In the middle of the street in front of the building is a large statue surrounded by flowers and fountains. Very pretty. Until there was a suspicious bag found. And the police were notified. And they blocked off my block. And I had to let all the tenants out of the building through the loading dock. And I had to remain on site. Yeah that was awesome. Just me, myself and I, hanging out in a bomb zone.
And then, after notifying all the proper people, the company I work for sends the biggest goober on the planet. James W. Goo. Ber. He’s a rent a cop. He wouldn’t hesitate to tackle an old lady in a mall for suspected theft.
And sadly I’m not kidding when I say that, because he’s actually done it.
Anyway, it was nothing more than a bag filled with some homeless guy’s clothes. Awesome. Not a bomb.

Back to the beginning.

I learned a valuable lesson today. I was on my way downstairs where I take my break and, since my access card was in my back pocket and my hands were full, I decided, instead of putting something down to take my access card out, I’d just do a little butt swivel in front of the card reader, swipe the card and then go through the door.

Except it didn’t quite work out that way. Hands still full, stubborn and hungry, I started giving this card reader the lap dance of its life! Finally the card reader registers my card and I turn to go through the door. As I’m turning around, don’t I turn and see a contractor standing there with a cup of coffee in his hand, jaw on the floor, wondering what the hell I’m doing.
How do I explain to him that, rather than pull my card out of my ass, I’d rather give the card reader a lap dance?

I can’t imagine what he must have been thinking. I kept going with nary a beat missed.

Moral: put your shit down, stop rubbing your ass all over the place, card readers don’t pay well. Whatever you want to take from this, go ahead.

latest knitty projects

So I have a knitty store. It’s on and can be found here:

These are some of the things that I dabble in. I also have a facebook page where I statusupdatetotheworld about all the things I’m creating:

So I received an order for 6 pairs of fingerless gloves from a friend of my hubby. I didn’t physically jump for joy (in public) but was DEFINITELY excited!
She works for the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) and the gloves were for her and her 5 co-workers however the glove colours has to adhere to their dress code. That’s okay. 6 pairs of gloves is 6 pairs of gloves. I undercharged her because she was buying 6. I hope she and her coworkers find them cozy and warm!

Then my friend Tammy, who owns a store in Barrie, who also has a shop on Etsy:
Tammy is a huge supporter of Autism. If you want to find out why, read up about her. Her story isn’t mine to tell.
Anyway. She’s a huge supporter of Autism and asked if I could make an Autism Puzzle Hat. When I showed her the pattern we both squealed online together because honestly, the hat totally rocks! So she’s ordered a hat for her kids (she has two – her daughter has the most adorable curls – she gets them from her Mom). She then suggested that she might sell them in her store. I have to admit, I’m still jumping for joy over that one. The thought that something that I’ve made would be in someone’s store. How. Cool. Is. That????

I’m still sort of on a high about that. We haven’t worked out the details yet, mostly because I haven’t made the hat yet (I still have 4 pairs of gloves to get through before I start the first hat) but I’m just so damned excited!!! I hope I can make it and make it well! So hope for the best for me. I’d LOVE to have my hats in her shop!!!!

An autobio and a warning

Quick autobio:

I’m a mom to 2 kids, one has ADHD and the other has Autism. I’m a wife to a husband who has a serious hockey obsession. I’m a slave to a cat named Persia who suffers from Spazz attacks.

I myself work (because bills need to be paid), dabble in knitting, writing, photography and dream of all the things I’ll see and make, none of which will happen because I’m a procrastinator.

I’ve been writing a book for the past 5 years. I’m constantly knitting something. I take lots of photographs, none of which will ever be award winning because I’m just too lazy to take a photography course.

This is pretty much all you need to know about me for now. And. AND I curse like a sailor. If you do not approve of cursing, of any kind, please don’t read my blog, assuming I even keep this shit up longer than a day. Consider that your warning.